G’day

From 4-month-old Marina

Zen and the Art of Listening to Babies

The role of “new mother” has been quite a learning experience. Of course before the birth of Marina I was full of ideas on how things would be, and should be, but having a baby is something you must experience firsthand to fully understand. I am grateful for my background in OT, and for Darren’s background in child psychiatry. Our educational and professional backgrounds have given us a lot of valuable tools and information.

One of the most challenging things about babies is listening to them, and trying to discern what it is they are telling us. Babies tell us so much. They communicate their feelings, their likes and dislikes, and they tell us exactly what we need. It is our job as parents and caregivers to listen. Imagine how difficult it must be to be a baby. You can’t control your movements very well, you can’t speak, you have almost no control over your life. You are completely dependent upon your parents for everything. If your diaper is wet and uncomfortable, you can’t change it, or even shift to a more comfortable position. If you have an itch, you can’t scratch it.

We were blessed with an incredibly calm, easily soothed baby. Yet, there have been many times when she has cried inconsolably, and we have been at a complete loss. This is where we have learned to listen. Through listening I have learned that my daughter doesn’t tolerate me drinking cow’s milk very well. She is also not a huge fan of fast food or pasta. She also has a hard time relaxing and falling asleep unless she has a cozy warm body next to for cuddling. She doesn’t like to look at things that move too quickly, and when she is focusing on something that interests her, she doesn’t like for me to talk too much. When she is having a hard time winding down at the end of the day, she likes for her daddy to sit with her on the theraball and bounce.

There are millions of other examples, but I won’t bore everyone by listing them. Our culture devalues the art of listening. We are not taught or encouraged to listen to our intuition, or even to our babies. We are told “babies just cry.” While there is some truth to that, I believe that babies always cry for a reason. I also believe that we should listen, and accommodate. Infancy is not the time to enforce schedules or instill independence. There will be plenty of time for that later, when they are more developmentally capable and ready to meet such societal demands. That is just my opinion though…

Good Morning

From Sleepy Marina

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From Marina Isabella

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From Marina

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From Marina

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From Marina and Theresa

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From Darren & Marina

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From Marina Isabella Mancuso

Good Morning

From Marina